Don’t you hate when you have no idea where you’re going in life? 

My younger cousin, Amarilis has a daughter who’s a year and a half and now my other cousin, Ivelisse, is expecting her first child. I’m having one of those “ah shit. I’m old and have no kid.” crisis again. I’d love to have children in the future, but right now I have so much going on that I can’t even concentrate on myself, let alone a child. I don’t want to be that selfish and do that. 

My parents both need my support, I’m at a position in my life that I still don’t know what I’m going to do with the rest of it career-wise and I’m taking some time off from school to work at a pretty shitty job just because I don’t know what I want. How can I possibly even think of having children? 

Then it’s the whole “ew… kids” mentality I get sometimes. Children are so annoying and disrespectful nowadays, even though I do believe it has a lot to do with how they’re raised, but there is so much I have to consider. It’s not like I’m in a relationship with a guy and I can just go “oops! Guess we’re gunna be parents!” like most people do. 

I’m young… yet I’m old. It sucks.